Harry and his new friend
by crocket
Summary: Okay got as complete but if many like it i will proberly change. Harry makes a wish for a friend, But for a particular person. Did this as can't find any stories with this combo i do hope a good writer makes one after seeing my effort.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Harry Potter or Beetlejuice and am writing this for fun.

Harry potter age 10 and 3 months

occupation slave general dogsbody punching bag

hair a bloody mess of black tangles

eyes green with an inner glow at times like the go sign on traffic lights

height to bloody short

weight guess what under

hobbies staying alive and hunting for food

ambitions to have a friend and to not be hungry or hurt

address cupboard under stairs 4 privet drive

current status wishing with all his might

Harry sat there with his eyes closed he had seen a bit of the film before the Dursleys had finished with him now he sat in his dark cupboard and put all his heart all his hope every thing he was into a single word "Beetlejuice...Beetlejuice...Beetlejuice" he opened his eyes and nothing no man in weird clothes no house with flashing lights nothing. Even though he had put everything into it he was not surprised it hadn't worked if it had it meant he might gain a friend and he wasn't allowed **them** so why would this work. Still a lonely tear made it's way down his face. He was half tempted to pinch himself for even his tears seemed to be alone, he rarely cried now as it meant punishment and that meant the belt.

He fell asleep with the same amount of hope he woke up with NONE.

As he slept he curled himself subconsciously into a tight ball as his body responded to the cold air. A small glow started to surround him as it increased it started to pulse. Harry Potter did not know it but he had been answered his magic sensing a way to free it's partner sent out the pulse. Miles away a being stopped as it felt a pull it had not felt in many years "Beetlejuice...Beetlejuice...Beetlejuice" He smiled "It's show time" and with that he vanished following the feint call.

Harry Potter awoke to his door being opened and getting told what 'they' wanted for breakfast, there was no question of what he would have if there was anything left he would eat if not he went hungry until he got to school.

He went hungry.

As the entity floated the voice stilled he waited and if he had to admit it prayed (not that he would) that the voice would come again.

Harry ran the game of Harry hunting was NOT his favourite game and currently he was dodging fatso ratso and pratso or more commonly know as Dudley, Piers and Malcolm. He looked around and swore to himself with his glasses in two parts he had got turned around and now was in a dead end and if the 4 idiots got him he would be dead in this end. He gave a nervous giggle then as he saw them getting closer he wished he was away from this place he felt a tug and a pull and a squeezing. Then wind all of a sudden it was a lot windier he pulled out some tape and set to repairing his glasses again. Then cleaning them on his jumper put them on and nearly did the job the 3 stooges had started for he found himself on the school roof. "what the hell?" he carefully sat down and tried to take some calming breathes but in the end al he felt was panic, but wait could he have , was it possible he closed his eyes and pushed away every negative thought he could, gripped his two hands together as if in prayer and and chanted "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice". The entity heard him and felt the pull a smile crossed it's face

"SHOWTIME"

Harry felt the wind pick up and felt as if he was in the centre of a well, sink as if he was that last bit of water that was spinning round and round before being pulled into the depths of the unknown.

As soon as he felt normal, well normal for him he slowly opened his eyes and saw, feet then as he followed his way up legs then a stripped jacket and finally a tie then a well handsome did NOT spring to mind rounded with really bad teeth and piggy eyes and hair as messy as his but in greyish white a person he had seen on the telly only last night "Beetle beetle Beetlejuice?" He managed to stammer out.

The man looked at the child before him and smiled "the one and only at your service now where did I put that card." He started to pull all sorts of things from his pockets but Harry stopped him "your real" he smiled a grin broke out on his face hope started to find it's way around his body " your real your real" He looked about then seeing as he had room to stand did exactly that and held out his hand "Hi my names Harry would you be my friend?"

Beetlejuice looked at the kid and all sorts of plans formed but something was familiar about this kid he couldn't shake the feeling that they had met before. "Sure kid no problemo" he took the kids hand and pumped it up and down. "So kid what's the deal?"

Harry thought for a moment "my family hate me they bully and starve me I have no friends because the 3 stooges beat them up or threaten them and I live in a cupboard, what I want is clothes food and a friend, you said you would be my friend so now we just have to work on the other stuff if you would?"

The entity known now as Beetlejuice thought for a moment no child should be treated like that politicians yes kids no. He smiled and a rogue worm slivered between the gaps in his teeth. "well my name is Percival Lawrence Beetlejuice, My I am called Beetlejuice when summoned but most people call me Peeves now. I think it because they know I prefer being called Percy so do it to Peeve me off." Harry smiled "Harry James Potter pleased to meet you Percy"

Percy,Beetlejuice Peeves stood in shock this the what hu. He tried to get his thoughts in order the hair the eyes he knew or hoped he was wrong "Where your parents called Lilly and James?"

Harry opened and closed his mouth a couple of times how the hell had Percy known his parents names then he remembered the film ghosts their were ghosts in the film. "Did you see my mum and dad somewhere do you know could you ummm could you take me to where they haunt I would like to meet them even if they where drunks."

"Percy shook his head "drunks" what the hell. Haunted what was going on here.

"Harry I knew your parents when they went to school along with your dads friends and fellow trouble makers Sirius Pettigrew and Lupin and not forgetting your mum Lilly. Why do you think they are or were drunks?"

If anyone who knew him had seen him they would have been shocked at his attitude but the Marauders had helped him left stuff around so he could prank people had even gave him new ideas he owed them to find out what was going on. More so considering he had heard Dumbledore say on many occasions about Harry being well looked after and was happy. If this was well looked after he would hate to see a mistreated child.

"Harry took a breath "my Aunt and Uncle told me they were drunken bums scrounging of polite society stealing and they died in a car crash when they were drunk and high on drugs."

Percy was annoyed nope he checked his head spinning steam coming out ears flames belching from his mouth nope this was not annoyed this was major pissed. He took a few calming breaths sucking in some flame as he did so he redirected it to his eyes. "your mother and father were caring loving people who were murdered by an evil wizarding wanker called tom riddle he went around giving himself all sorts of titles like lord Voldemort but he was just a pathetic looser with ideas of adequacy he needed others to do his dirty work for him the time he came after your family he killed your dad near the door and your mum was killed in your bedroom but whe" Harry stopped him mid rant "wizard as in magic Wizard?"

Now Percy was mad the miserable scum had lied about his parents and Dumbledore had said he was teaching Harry about the magical world he even knew Dumbledore was being paid for it. He nearly missed what Harry said next "A green light and a red headed women saying not my child, Was mum a red head? Did the evil man shoot a green spell at her and me I remember the green so very well mum if it was her dropped to the floor and the man he just smiled and said so child of prophecy lets see how you withstand this then abracadabra or something like that and a green light his me then hit him and he fell to the floor."

Percy looked stunned the kid remembered the murder of his parents well his mum anyway. "yer kid it would have been a green light it was Advera kedeva the killing curse. You kid are the only one ever to have lived after being hit by it."

Harry looked around all the other children had gone that meant he was late but he smiled he had a friend and now he had company. "Percy lets go somewhere and talk okay?" Percy smiled and licked his lips sucking in the errant now cooked worm took harry by the hand and took of dragging the boy through the air.

"Now Harry your mum and dad went to Hogwarts and that's where I haunt the most it is their they say my name in dread or anger either before or after I prank them their I am known as Peeves the Poltergeist"

well I looked around and couldn't find a Beetlejuice potter combo story what you think for a first chapter?


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own either Harry Potter or Beetlejuice I do own some things but not many of them are worth much

I have done another chapter as I got a lot of requests for more.

**Harry and his new friend** part two

Harry sat there with a beer in one hand as Percy told him about Hogwarts Voldemort or as Percy knew him Tom tattle apparently_ he like to tell tales to get other kids in trouble then pretend he was helping the kid now in trouble. _This sounded very Dudleyish and Harry, decided he did not like Tom Tattle even more. As the night wore on Harry came to a sad fact, he would have to go back to Surry and number 4, this sad fact soon became a happy one as he thought about his new friend. "say Percy if I want to get out from Dumbledicks thumb I need be careful right?" Percy nodded in time with his favourite set of twins _Miss lefty and miss righty 34dDD "_yep he is smart but often only see's what he wants to see, meaning he is easy to pull the wool over as he believes he is all knowing and all powerful, crock of crap if you ask me and you did). Harry smiled "So if I went back to number 4 before he comes looking and then if the people in number 4 suddenly found out tattling on me or making me upset was a bad thing then he wouldn't ..." Harry left the sentence half finished as Miss righty 34DD was at this moment half an inch from his face. Percy laughed "yep and let me guess if they were say pranked and couldn't blame you then" Harry and Percy shared a laugh. "Okay kid lets blow this joint" Percy grabbed Harry's hand and soon were heading towards number 4. After they landed Harry made his way in and was soon being hit by Vernon then pushed into his cupboard. At one time he would have done nothing another he would have cried this time he smiled and laughed "Vernon you really shouldn't have done that! You see I made a knew friend from child welfare today and guess what he is coming to see me tomorrow and if I show him these bruises then clunk click bend over quick". Vernon went pale and petunia nearly fainted "you see after school a bloke came up to me saying how you two had been reported for child abuse and he took pictures of me, so he could compare me today with me tomorrow, as I told him you like to hurt me." Night, night uncle, aunt." With that he he snuggled under his clothes. The Dursleys smiled _**oh**_ the boy might think he had help but he didn't know how often this happened and how a certain freak with a long bushy beard made all that go away.

Next morning Harry awoke and "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice," As soon as Percy showed up he told him about his reception home. Percy was not happy about this and asked to see the marks. Harry, was happy to show him and explained how they seemed to heal while he was asleep, quite often. Percy nodded "yer it your magic healing you, **but** still it needs food to work properly so lets get you fed." with that he vanished.

Harry heard the knocking of the front door and then heard Percy shout "okay you child abusing wanker's open up, I have an official warrant here come on open up and if that poor child Harry has one extra bruise on him then I will see you in jail." Harry smiled as he heard the tubs of lard run down the stairs and shouting about how it was a _**lie**_ and then, he heard as Percy shouted "If it is a lie then open that cupboard under the stairs and prove to me you don't have a child locked up under there." he could hear Vernon splutter and then he heard Petunia shout " get him in before the neighbours hear!" Harry could have laughed as his door was opened and he held up his hand as if to ward of another blow. "My Percy sir, you **came** I didn't think you would" Percy winked at him" Okay Mr Potter lets get you out of there. " Vernon Dursley, I am taking Mr Potter to the hospital and I am making sure he has a full medical, it is already booked now get out of my way."

Vernon was in his striped pyjamas with a mouth acting like a carp sucking bread of a lake surface, and Harry had the idea he would need to get used to stripes on his clothes. He also looked very pale "No Sir, if you let me make you a drink I can explain why the child was in the cupboard , you see he came in late last night and had been fighting. It was punishment" Percy held up his hand "Liar I dropped him off at the front door, I _**know**_ he had no bruises on him, you sir are on a one way trip to jail. As soon as I get all the forms filled out." With that he dragged a partially dressed Harry out the house. Snagging Vernon's wallet from the table top as he went by. As soon as they were out the street Percy took his hand and soon they were sitting in a little cafe eating a fry up.

Albus Dumbledore was in a rage first he had been woken up very early , second he had just came from the local hospital and could not find anything to do with Harry Potter there, and to top it all off Peeves the bloody poltergeist had pinched his drugged lemon drops and swapped with his non drugged ones and at breakfast he had been forced to obliverate half the school when a simple question of " So Headmaster what do you plan for today then?" from Professor McGonagall came back with the his reply of "well go to Surrey and obliverate a load of muggles who have found out that Potter, is being abused, then I need to go to the potter's, account and see what I feel like buying myself with his money to make up for all the trouble this is causing me." Hadn't gone down well. It was Luck that he had his wand out and casting stunning spells before it registered what he had said. He was still no closer to finding Potter either.

Harry and Peeves finished their breakfast's and decided on spending some of Vernon's cash. Percy noticed most of Harry's bruises were now gone, and that he needed some new clothes and some decent glasses. The glasses had a revelation for both of them. Percy had never heard of contacts, and as the shop assistant explained them Harry had an idea and asked for a couple of pairs in different colours, Percy not seeing the point just raised his eyebrow, and shrugged. They left quite a few quid poorer.. Harry spoke first "So Percy my eyes and scar are the most famous parts of me? are they, every one knows I have green eyes then?" Percy nodded and looked at Harry to see what the point was and had to look again "Brown you have brown..." then he burst out laughing "now if you was a metamorph then you could be completely anonymous" Harry, looked confused a meta what?" Percy, smiled and explained about metamorphs as Harry, listened a smile started at a corner of his mouth and worked it's way from a smile to a grin. "Percy, you remember what I said about my aunt, yesterday and how they miss treated me?" Percy, did not look happy with the reminder he still wanted to stuck some dynamite up their backsides and light the fuses, but just nodded "Well did I tell you how a couple years ago my aunt, shaved my head as she hated my hair and it regrew that night, or that I have never had any haircuts since then?" Percy, stopped and looked at him then he started to smile before he burst out in laughter "Come on lets find somewhere we can talk un heard." This off course led them back to miss lefty and miss righty who today was joined by their friends, _**The massive jugg twins**_. With Vernon's cash they also brought themselves a brandy (Percy) and some chocolate (Harry) Harry, went into more details, while becoming aware of some adult reactions in his young body. It didn't help that Percy's would take his eyes out polish them then try to place them down the women's tops (for a better view or so he said).

It was Years of practice that stopped him being caught.

He mentioned one madam Sprout and her ability to make things grow just by wiggling her top about abit. Percy spent time trying his best to explain how to change things, like his hair, he explained he had seen some metamorphs at Hogwarts and sat in some of their lessons but they were rare and the only lessons he really wanted to see was the chest improvement ones. With trips to the bogs (toilets) the odd snack and a lots and lots of staring Harry, thought he did quite well making his hair several inches longer, then shrinking it. The two off them left rather happy that it wasn't their cash as they seemed to be skint. Oh well Harry, considered it back wages and threw the wallet away . Only to be stopped by Percy and his self detaching hand (I will have to learn that thought Harry, as he could see him caressing a few bums and letting someone else take the blame) could be fun this set him of laughing. Percy, asked what was so funny and after Harry, said he wanted to make his hand fly off in a shop and pinch the bum of some bloke standing next to Vernon, well he could hardly finish and as Percy's, eyes shot up they both burst out laughing. It was a happy duo that arrived at number 4. Percy with years of experience floated up to Dudley's room and hid his dads wallet under the bed so if Harry got the blame he could be searched and no wallet , Also Percy could demand the fat kids room be searched and then find tubbys wallet and demand not only an apology for Harry, but to also see fatso spanked as punishment., then came back down. He knocked on the door and an irate Vernon, answered " Right Vernon Dursley, we have recorded his bruises and sadly due to the law he has to stay here for now, **but** know this I shall visit him at odd times and if he hasn't got his own bedroom with proper furniture then you will also have more charges against you."

Vernon swelled up with indignation " Now you listen here , I phoned around and he never went to no hospital.( he hadn't phoned anyone but he had been told by Dumbledore that Harry had not been seen in any hospital or and police station) and I am telling you" That was as far as he got as Percy spoke up " We know that Mr Potter's safety has been questioned before and we have wondered how you always seem to get away with it? That is why we had him examined out of Surrey, and in a different police station. You don't think we would be stupid enough to do it within your sphere of influence do you?"

Vernon, paled they hadn't thought about that, _**No**_ he could see his world crumble. "Also I would like to know why you make Harry, here do all the work saying he should be grateful for a roof over his head and the meagre rations you gave him. I did some investigating and found you received money for his up keep, money you obversely are not spending on him, this has been forwarded to the fraud squad for claiming money with deception, also to the tax office as this might concern _them_". Vernon felt faint, this was not good, not good at all. "Now we have gotten Mr Potter, here some new glasses and a proper eye check, guess how annoyed we were when we found he had no listed doctor ,no listed dentist, and no listed optician, yet here he was with second hand glasses, _glasses_ that were _very_ wrong for him, and were in fact making his eye sight worse. Now as every child can see a doctor or dentist for free until they are 16 can you tell me why he has not? After all it could not be _**cost**_ as it is free, could it be because they would of reported the abuse you have heaped on this child?" That was it Vernon fainted with a loud bang and hit his head on a table, Petunia and Dudley looked and listened on in horror. Percy looked at them and smiled "So you freaks had better take better care of young Harry, here and I shall see you," he said looking at Harry "tomorrow" with that Percy left and Harry smiled "so have I got a room or do I tell social services tomorrow that I still am in a cupboard?" Petunia pointed up "The attic has a ladder use that as your room, I am_** not**_ letting you have Dudley's room or his spare one as he needs them and Marge needs the other one.

Albus Dumbledore was annoyed yes that was it he wasn't angry he was only annoyed, He had just been called back to Surrey and been told that Potter had been seen in a different area, as this bloke from social knew of other reported assaults against Harry had gone un investigated. He was going to go up and read the kids mind but two things stopped him, one was he doubted Harry knew where this social worker lived and two the most important one was Peeves had laced his tea with a anti constipation draught and now he had to run back to the Toilet before... ooops to late, Okay now he was angry that was the 5th pair of longjohns he had ruined and he still didn't know what Social ervices knew. He cast a few charms and made his way back to his rooms and yet another change of clothes.

Petunia had looked shocked as Albus Dumbledore had let rip with a right stinker before he popped away. Leaving behind a most horrid smell. Along with no clues on what to do with Potter. As he hadn't said more than "So the brats in the at" before his face went white and he pooped err popped away

Harry, opened his new rooms door, or to you and me lifted the loft cover off and looked around. The ladders were a fold up type that Vernon had seen cheap when he had planned to make the loft into a play room for his precious Dudders, Dudders had complained it was to high up so it had never been finished, There was a light and also part of the floor had been boarded and carpeted, The rest was yellow cushiony stuff. There was no bed only a small table with some left over bits of wood on and that was it. Harry shook his head , this place would be perfect after a few changes. "Beetlejuice , Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice" as his friend came into view they both smiled " Well Harry no floor no bed and bare loft insulation lets see that could be good for say 5 years inside alone, and then no cupboard and I see no new clothes for you, oh well this is most disappointing." they both broke out in laughter. "So what you recon kiddo?" Harry, smiled well you said runes and potions can't be traced so I think I need lessons in them. I think a few heating runes around here along with some ones to make the room lighter and maybe bigger could be good, and I think I best get some cash... I wonder if I can tell the porkers three that I have am getting a part time job? " Percy looked confused " Why?" well I think if I start bringing stuff in then either porkers will steal it _or_ try to. If I say I earned money then brought it along with the fact that they had best start feeding me, as I will say "okay best get in touch social"and tell them that "I no longer need that money they send to you" either way I want some control. Percy smiled and together they sat on Harry's, clothes and made plans. The next morning Harry, was up early and started the day in the best way, so it was that Vernon and his brood found Harry, and the social worker sitting down and enjoying a nice hearty breakfast.

Vernon nearly had a fit seeing that, that, social bloke_** in his, **_his kitchen and a very nasty looking briefcase sat on the table along with a camera and some forms. "So Harry we have proof of your last room and we have the forensic samples for the lab to show the blood in there, now we have proof that you have been stuck in the attic and have bare insulation that could harm your lungs no bed no cupboards no tables or anything else. This is definitely worth 5 years inside I would say you will be out here and the Dursleys in jail by the end of the week. Petunia made to get out the room and call Dumbledore but was stopped. "So with Dudley in borstal and all the paper work I have sent to the different departments in different areas we have an iron clad case. I also have told them to stop all funds to the Dursleys until I see you having money spent on you. Vernon choked and petunia went white even Dudley looked ill, mind you that could be because he hadn't eaten in 15 minutes and was dyeing of hunger.

Vernon spoke up " We are getting the whole attic floored and all the other stuff for it today, But if you stop that money how can we pay for it?" he thought he was being smart. Percy just turned and smiled "Mr Dursley are you due a payment today and is it so high you can get the attic floored a carpet and other stuff up there? Mmm I think the I,R,S definitely need to look into your money. No you will pay for it out of the back money you owe Mr Potter. I mean if you can show you have changed then you may avoid _some_ jail time, or you may just as well change your name for sue, as most of the men in jail go for people with man breast's after not seeing any on a female for a long time, they also don't like child abusers." Vernon gulped and looked at his man jugs then fainted, knocking Dudley and his wife over in the process. Percy got up from the table and swallowing the last of his tea told Harry, to follow him and to bring his school work as he could do some of that in between his tests and interviews I have scheduled for you today." They walked past the Dursleys with barely a look of contempt " remind him if Harry does not have a solid floor and a bed with blankets by the time he returns tonight then tomorrow he will be called Sue in the lock up while he awaits his trail". They left them stunned and still under Vernon.

Harry and Percy, as soon as out of site burst out with laughter, "Oh man they are so scared and with Dumbledick having no way to trace me or them reports it will worry the hell out of them". Harry laughed "so more meta training then we work out the cash problem". Percy nodded " I have been thinking about this.."Harry burst out laughing you have been been t_hinking_" and he nearly keeled over, Percy just cuffed him along side the head. "Yes thinking, now not many can see me unless I want them to like the 3 stooges back there, so how about we get you to look old and start teaching you poker?" Harry looked at him"you want me to cheat at gambling?" Percy nodded " to take money from un suspecting people who may have worked hard for it? To to lie?" Percy just nodded and looked a bit downcast "Okay, as just about everyone one else will be cheating, why it's not my fault if I can cheat better is it?" Percy smiled and nodded "not in any way at all." they burst out laughing.

It took all day the aid of the contact lenses and a lot of patience before Harry's, new persona was born. He was taller than normal Harry 5ft8 he was still skinny and Percy, had said until Harry, was eating right his transformations would be hard. He had a pony tail that was about 8 inches long and brown hair, his eyes now due to the contacts were hazel. His scar was the only thing he couldn't seem to change. But after reading a girly mag (as Harry called it) they discovered all sorts of make up that could be used to cover it. Harry, and Percy, smiled as they made their way back to number 4 and what hopefully would be a new bedroom. As soon as they opened the door a red light hit harry and Dumbledick was revealed, it was down hill after that, Percy seeing a spell hit Harry lobbed his Briefcase with full force at Dumbledick (not that he knew who he was if he was asked at any point) and then lashed out with his fist easily braking the bearded git's nose. Then before Vernon could act he spun around and kneed Vernon so hard it was doubtful Dudley would have any legitimate brothers or sisters. They didn't notice as Percy kicked Dumbledick's wand under a table or when he accidentally stepped on his Dumbledore's glasses several times, making sure they were quite impossible to fix. As Dumbledore tried to see right and get his breath back Percy, let him get a the full effect of being kicked in the nadgers (testicles) twice before he said "right Harry, lets leave and get the police here... shit Harry if these scum have hurt you then all of them will be in jail and be best friends with the back end of a chair before long. Percy picked Harry and the wand up and left. It didn't take long for him to call the police and tell them that number 4 privet drive owners had been seen abusing a child and they should pay attention to the cupboard under the stairs and to the pedophile with a beard. He told them he was walking past when he saw the old man try touch up a young boy and not in a good way." Then he sat and waited for Harry, to come around.

So ends the next chapter can you say if it okay and what need to improve thanks


	3. Chapter 3

**Harry and his new friend** part Three

I do not own any thing other than my own ideas, as for everything else J,K,Rowling and whoever invented Betelgeuse own them.

This chapter will not be as funny. sigh

As Percy, sometimes known as Peeves the bloody annoying Poltergeist, sat waiting for his mate Harry to come around he envisioned several painful scenarios for certain people. Vernon if he could talk his way out of this would be scared, Dumbledick was more of a problem, first he would be searching for his wand. "_Good luck with that" _thought Percy he had hid it in the one place mortals would find hard to get to, with out aid. He had after hiding Harry took it to the bottom of Thames flood barrier and stuck it to one of the support beams. Any one umm say named Dumbledore who tried to apparate to the wand would find themselves 40ft under water, cold water, very cold water, if the shock of the water temp didn't do them in then that first breath he took would. If he portkeyed in with a time delayed portakey then he was finished unless he could swim up in a strong current and see in pitch black water, and breath and cast a bubble head charm all at the same time. Once the area ward stones he had planted went of letting him know someone had been there he would get there fast then take it to spot two, He was still working on spot two but he figured a lead lined iron box (both metals hated magic) and have it in a brightly lit tunnel, a very brightly lit tunnel that had broken glass and that all over it, and maybe some other of the less nice things like Boggets would help him, willing or not willingly. He smiled and then frowned as he heard a grumble from Harry.

Harry felt like he had been working in the garden all day on a hot summers day with nothing to eat or drink, doctors and the such would have said it was dehydration, and he needed fluids to get rid of the pains in his body. All he knew is he felt like that _**now**_. Hew could just make out Percy (by the sound of it) saying to drink something. He felt a glass stuck under his nose and then smelt something rather disgusting, trusting Percy though he drank it and was he glad he did, "BOORA yippee, now that's the ticket." Harry sat bolt upright and felt like he had drank liquid lightning, everything tingled and more importantly his head had stopped pounding. He turned with a grateful grin to his best mate his best pal come to think of it, his only mate and his only pal, it was so lucky that he was _**the best**_. "So Percy what the hell happened? And more importantly what the hell was that drink?". He saw as his friend tried to collect his thoughts, or they could just have been random maggots that fled his hair in hopes of freedom? Who knew and how to be honest cared, certainly not Harry. "Right the drink is called a pepper up potion, and it is one we should make, Now as to what happened well, it's like this. I kicked Dumbledick and Vernon in the nadgers a couple of times after Dumbledick hit you with a stunner." He held up his hand before Harry could speak, "now a stunner is a sort of knock out spell that just knocks a person out. The fact you have been out for a few hours shows he was pulling no punches, the most you should have been out is 20 mins. Well I sort of lost it and went a little nuts... or should I say nut bashing?" he shrugged and smiled. "So mate do you want to go back or do you want try freedom for as long as possible?" He again held up his hand "On one side Dumbledick will hunt you down and me, also if he gets you he will wipe your mind I think he must have before, also even if he does not know who I am he can look at memories and make guesses, he does have a small army of butt kissers to help him as well, he has not got his wand as I sort of hid it after pinching it so he is at a small disadvantage . So the idea of going back has merit if and only if we can keep your memories, also after this I don't think the Dursley's will be so mean as they wont be able to get me...but no one knows you are a metamorph you have nothing magical on you for them to trace I know I checked, and no one knows what we look like when you change appearance or in my case even my name. Down side we are skint and have no cash at all, upside we can be free to do as we like, we have our memories, and we have surprise on our side, and it is easy to get cash, also a place to live is not a worry after we have some cash we can go camping." Harry just shook his head and tried to work it out. Go number 4 and maybe be hit and loose his freedom along with the sound of it having some sort of tracer put on him, or risk being free and eating right, he could not see the fun in camping though. To most it would have been an easy choice _**run**_ but Harry thought about it, and run won out. "Okay we run for it." Percy smiled slapped him on the back and started to sing some song about a home on a range? Why anyone would want a home on a stove was beyond Harry. ( he really was lacking that much practical knowledge and knowledge about other cultures) Percy, now Harry was awake decided to go invisible and return to number 4 to see how much dosh he could steal. He told Harry what he was doing and then faded away. Only to come back 5 minutes later laughing his backside off.

Harry waited until he had calmed down before asking what was so funny, Percy tried to tell him but kept cracking up, sometimes literally, as small cracks would appear all over him then he would crumble into a pile of rubble only to rebuild himself. Finally he managed to choke out what he had seen. "I left here and went there, so no surprise right? What did surprise me was the news vans the T.V crews and the police, I saw several magical's including one Arabella Figg and squib cousin of Dumbledore's, several teachers from Hogwarts namely one grease ball Snape, and Minerva the kitty licker McGonagall, None looked to happy. I did a bit of listening in and it seemed that Figg had been dropped called? When she had been out or someone never left a message. Anyway she checked to see who it was as several magical's can't use the phone, She was surprised to find it led to the local cop shop, She asked if they knew who had rung her and apparently was horrified it was one Albus Dumbledore. She was even more upset as they wouldn't let him come to the phone now as it was out of hours. Greaseball was saying how he bet it was all your fault and kitty was saying how she knew it was a bad idea to leave you here." Percy took a breath "I find it funny how a Deatheater a squib and Mckitty knew where you lived yet according to the papers in the magical world you were getting training from Dumbledick or living the high life on one of your estates... come to think of it why aren't you on one of the potter estates?" He scratched his head and ate the odd maggot he had impaled on his finger nails. "MMMMM now if I remember James, said he had one really nutty Elf that worked for him, always wanted to be free and always wanted socks." He saw the look on Harry's face and shook his head "Harry house elves need to be bonded or their magic fades, so none want to be free, also to free an elf you give it clothes, so for an elf wanting to be free and to want socks is very odd." Harry, nodded he knew he had no knowledge of other species hell he had hardly any knowledge of humans and he was one. " We asked the guy once why he wanted to be free and his answer was …..different to say the least. He wanted to be free so he could bound with a... sheep and get as many socks as he wanted, you see he had heard about Dumbledick and his goat fetish... I still can't see why people blame his brother? Anyway he knew socks were made from wool and he loves socks, apparently they can be used to warm feet warm ears and warm his jiggly bit...we never asked he was to to well lets say we never asked and leave it at that." Percy, shivered "James after that hardly ever wore socks that's all I know. The thing is if any of the Potter, elves are around that nutter would be the most loyal and best one to call for. Now what was his name...Dibby? Doppy?

Nope got it " He looked at harry and smiled " Harry, my lad if this works prepare for utter insanity for if this works your about to meet the one the only the truly insane DOBBY!, A load crack and something from that ring film, Lovers of the Ring? Son of the Ring, oh, Lord of the Ring appeared before them. It was small had massive ears and was caressing a sock? "You call Dobby? Who you to call Dob..." he turned and followed the finger that was pointing some where behind him " He couldn't feel anyone but he turned and saw " Master James I can't feel you?" Harry shivered at that as the way Dobby, was playing with that sock in a way that reminded him of some of the men at the last strip joint..._**shudder. **_Percy, spoke up "that's not James, it's his son little Harry." That was as far as he got as the elf jumped Harry looked him in the eye and then seemed to think he was a randy dog and started to dry hump Harry's leg. Percy tried I mean he really did try but he just couldn't help it he burst out laughing and missed most of what the fornicating elf was saying. It took a while for the Elf to calm down( Percy said something about Elf stamina ) but Harry ignored him and tried not to think about the wet spot on his trousers _shuuudddeerrrr._

Harry, and Percy, watched as a very irate elf told his story "Afters we loose bonds with Jamsey and lillies we go to next person Harries" with that he looked at Harry with his big moon eyes and fluttered his lashes yes actually fluttered his lashes...ugh. All was well for a small amount of time then he vanished as well. Some times later Dumbledork, comes and say all dead and place is now his, we not likes Dumbledork he like goats wool socks." Dobby looked around and sighed "we thinks he pervey, who likes goat socks?" this got a smile from Harry and a full out bellowing laugh from Percy. This little leg humper was calling Dumbledore the great, a perve. It was just to much. So he try sell us but some of us never feel real bond with new owners and some new owners are evil and hurt us. Why can't I feel bond?" He walked over to Harry and started to jabber and gibber in some weird language then as Percy watched he started to shout and swear, in several languages. It took a full 2 hours to calm him down. So "Dobby what set you off then?" asked a pained Harry, who had added blown out eardrums to carpet burns on shins from mad elf, who knew that a pair of trousers could give carpet burns if rubbed that way. Come to think of it he was better not thinking of it. "Evil magic on Master Harry evil black magic. Magic that banned and mean life in screaming place. Someone cast a Life blocker curse on him" With this he pointed to Harry, who was stunned , he was alive so how it be a life blocker curse, Percy was now replacing Dobby in the shouting and swearing place. This time it took a lot lot longer to calm him down, after it was explained they gave up trying to calm down and just worked out revenge. " Harry that curse was banned and made an instant trip to Azkaban because it was used to steal lines, not detention lines but family lines. In a Pureblood run society your family line ,your ancestors are the most important thing, for someone to do this they have rubbed out your family history it is line theft. The fact Dumbledick turned up at your family home proves it was him. But there is a way to get it back ,and it is painful, but more importantly it takes Goblin magic to do it, they are more line happy than us humans, they can trace their lines back to certain kings or wars and stuff it scary how they take this as important. So first thing we got to do is get to a Goblin bank. Harry sighed it seemed he would not find out what had cracked Percy up after coming back from number 4 just yet.

Getting to a Goblin bank was easy first they got some cash, that was easy as Percy just lifted some wallets from some drunks coming out a nearby pub, Then a taxi to London, A quick change to his adult form, This set Dobby of leg humping as he had never realised how great Master Harry was. Then into the leaky cauldron, where they had a quick pint and a small meal of bubble and squeak, then after Tom, opened up the wall to Diagon Alley (Just visiting from abroad and not sure how to get in, was their excuse ) They made their way to the bank. As it was night-time there was not a lot of activity, from the sounds of an alley called Knockturn it seemed someone was swinging a cat into a wall. Other than that it was quiet. The big doors and large knocker (that Percy said would look better if it was more life like, after all I have never seen any knockers like that,) this got a weird look from Dobby and a smile from Harry as he remembered "the Massive Jugg twins" A couple of bangs and the door opened.

Harry had been told about Goblins but even so they were one ugly looking set of sods. "Yes what you want?" It seemed they had no manners either, but Harry just shrugged two could play that game " Well I saw this door had a huge set of knockers on it, so I assumed it was the local knocking house, no wait I saw the words bank and the big knockers on the door and thought it was a sperm bank and I came to make a deposit..." the Goblin,Dobby and even Percy looked at him in shock. Percy was sure he had told Harry not to be flippant and to be respectful he was positive in fact. " I want to see some one about my money what the hell do you think I want. Do they only hire idiots to Goblin the door?" The Goblin started then looked around not seeing anyone but the Elf and the ghost and this... _**meal**_ he smiled and waved them in. "Come in", Percy was shocked and weary Dobby was well Dobby. Harry spoke up once the door was shut "Now look here, get some one with brains and who is important it has come to my notice that this elf belongs to me, yet he can't sense I am his owner." The Goblin smiled (so an out of luck snob trying to get back what he sold to pay of debts... he shouldn't be missed) then licked his lips. The meal carried on, and the Goblin attitude changed "now I am a shape changer and I thought it could be that, but this elf did a test and found out that I had some sort of line destroyer curse on me," This really made the Goblin wake up and take notice if this was true dinner could wait...for now. "so let me show you myself and if you can get some tester and tat here I want what is mine and the one who stole it punished." Harry shrank down and without a care in the world stuck on his smaller trousers then changed his top, Dobby and the Goblin noticed the scars, Percy was just plotting how to make them, pass on to someone else.

The Goblin rushed off leaving a confused Harry standing there, "is he coming back or what?" Percy turned to Harry and smacked him across the back of his head " I told you to be respectful I do not in any way remember saying take the piss out of the Goblin and his bank!" Harry rubbed his head then had to rub his leg as Dobby kicked him in the shins "Dobby just..." He stopped and started at Harry more importantly at Harry's scar. "You is Harry Potter?" Harry rubbed his forehead "Dobby if my mum was lilly Potter and my Dad James Potter who would I be?" Dobby was shaking his head "No you is Harry Potter, the _**Harry Potter**_, not Harry Potter." harry and Percy just shrugged and looked confused. They would have asked a question but for two things one some Goblins were coming towards them and two Dobby was nuts so why ask and then get an answer that might send you insane. Harry smiled and nodded to the Goblin's standing before him "Right so what one does what I don't have all night I have things to do enemies to cause great pain to and most importantly I have to find out what's been stolen from me so I can properly thank the Goblin or Goblin's that let some wanker steal my stuff." Several Goblins pulled out their swords while some pretended to take great interest in their knives. Harry just looked on bored, "Well?" An old Goblin came forth and asked if he wanted the test here or in private. Harry smiled "here, that way we can see how competent or incompetent you lot are. Percy and Dobby started to edge to the doors, friends and masters were all well and good but being a pert of a meal was not in the job description. The Old Goblin nodded and gave a Nod to some younger Goblins that brought forward a bowl some parchment a couple of nasty looking knives and some rune stones (well what he thought looked like rune stone from Percy's, description) and motioned Harry forward.

The ritual was a let down after all the mojo and mumble jumble all Harry had to do was supply. 3 lots of blood. One from his left hand, one from his right hand, and one from his forehead, this was supposed to signify his mother his father and his past. He did have to use a different knife for each lot of blood and he didn't know it but most times he would have been asked to prick his thumb with a needle and let 3 drops into the basin. He had annoyed them so it was 3 shallow cuts and 20 drops in the basin. It didn't help he was not allowed to heal himself by anything but his own magic "As any potion will mess with the test" said the old Goblin smiling to himself. It was a petty thing to do but ha, what the hell it was only a foul mouthed human meal. That smirk was wiped of as the "Meal" was identified as "Lord Harry James Potter, Head of Gryfindor from father line head of Slytherin, from the past line this was under lined" with from_** "victory in combat also gains**_ **Hufflepuff line as Slytherin line murdered Hufflepuff line and took for his own**" This made Percy and Dobby look at him with awe. Then came his mothers line "from squib line head of the Rasputin line" The last one confused Harry but the Goblins started to murmur amongst themselves this was **not** a meal. Percy was not sure what the last meant and why it made the Goblins edgy neither was Dobby. So harry seeing no help from anyone just asked "Okay who is or was this Rasputin? That has you in such a snit?" The Goblins looked at him as if he had grown a second head or maybe, as if he had just said gold was a boring metal. The Old Goblin spoke up "Rasputin was the Wizard son of the last rulers of Russia, he,he had a falling out with his family, after an accident he went mad, sadly all his family died because of it. While he was away just before the accident he went on a sabbatical, or sort of holy pilgrimage thing, anyway at one point he visited England and it seems he met a women from your mothers side of the family and got her pregnant then she had a child until we get to your mother and you. You are the ruler in exile of all magical Russia, also you have all the treasure that Rasputin took from the amber room to hundreds of Fabergé eggs, all of them with different magical things in them rummer has it some of them eggs are real phoenix eggs. Now Dobby and Percy feinted, Harry couldn't help but think they were not helpful.

Sorry short chapter hope you like

from me and from him (points invisible friend bye bye for now).


End file.
